50 Cent's Chrome Lamborghini for Sale!

Yessir!

"Mothafuck Da Police!"

Usually I wouldn't go about pointing out ones flaws. That's just not how I roll. Not everyone is perfect. But what really grinds my gears is when someone lacks common sense. In this case, I'll make an exception.

On Monday, my supervisor asked me to pick up some pillows in Williamsburg for a photo shoot. I leave Complex at around 11 A.M. to pick up the L train over at Union Square. Now, I've never really been to Williamsburg. The only thing I know about the Williamsburg is that there's a bridge named after it, Peter Luger steakhouse, and Nort 7. As I hop off the train at Lorimer Street, the directions to "Rise and Fall Skateshop" said travel West on Metropolitan Avenue towards Meeker Avenue. Ok, at this point I had no idea where the fuck East and West was, based on where I was standing. So what do I do? I did what any other person with common sense would do. I asked someone.

Just my luck! A female cop is sitting in her cruiser right outside the train station. "Excuse me miss, can you point me in the direction going West?" Meanwhile the cop looks dumbfounded. "West? That way," as she points to the right. I thank her, and make my way down Metro in the direction she pointed. Meanwhile, I realize I've already walked five blocks and haven't seen Meeker Avenue. Hmmm, this seemed odd. Roasting my ass off in the 90+ weather, I ask a random guy on the street, "Excuse me, is this way heading West, towards Meeker Avenue?" "Yeah, I think so." Fine, I keep walking. I walk another six blocks. At this point I'm pissed. I haven't seen Meeker Avenue, or the street that I'm supposed to turn on. Feeling tired, dehydrated, and furious I ask a woman chilling on her stoop. "Miss, where can I find Havenmeyer Street?" She replies, "HAVENMEYER? Isn't that in Williamsburg?" My jaw drops. "Yes, I believe so. Aren't I heading in the right direction?" "No dear, Havenmeyer is in Williamsburg. That's all the way back that way!"

Apparently, I walked almost 15 blocks in the WRONG direction. All thanks, to these two fucking idiots who guided me in the wrong direction. All these idiots had to say was "I'm sorry, I don't know." How fucking hard is that? A simple 45 minute trip, turned literally into a 2 and a half hour journey across the fucking Sahara.

So I dedicate to you two, from the heart, a nice, great, ginormous, FUCK YOU!

GG!

WHOA!

First Scene of Saw IV debuts at Comic-On. This is going to be INSANE! LAFF at the folks clapping at the end...

ESPN: WHO'S NOW? WHO CARES?

Because, I sure as hell don't give two fucks about it. It's a travesty. And seriously, it's one of the worst segments ESPN has had in quite a while. For those unfamiliar with "Who's Now" it is a daily series aired on "Sportscenter" in which fans and a panel of "judges" help determine the ultimate sports star.

It's complete bullshit! Bare with me folks. The judges during the first round of voting were sportswriter and PTI co-host Tony Kornheiser, recently unemployed loudmouth Carolina Panther Keyshawn Johnson, and some other fool who I neglected to remember. Oh yeah, ESPN invited Jessica Biel to be a judge, and also promote her new movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." Back to them in a bit.

The first thing that got my blood boiling occurred on July 8th. The single-elimination match-up was between (3)Kobe Bryant vs (6)Ronaldinho. The fact that the most popular football player in the world was given a 6 seed is mind-boggling enough. Did they not know that soccer is the most popular sport in the world? Anyway, Kobe ended up winning this match-up (60.8% - 39.2%).

Here's where I lost my mind- July 15: (7) Tony Parker def. (2) Roger Federer (56.1% - 43.9%)

HOW THE FUCK DID ROGER FEDERER LOSE TO MR. LONGORIA? I still can't believe this fucking vote. The vote wasn't even close! It just goes to show how ignorant people are these days. It doesn't matter what major accomplishments an athlete achieves. Or even their philanthropic deeds. They care about how attractive somebody's girlfriend is, or somebody's shoe endorsement. SAD!

The judges are no fucking help either. I wish Keyshawn were still employed by the NFL. That way, he can spare us with his sports logic. (See:Dwayne Jarrett) It's not only Keyshawn though. It was unanimous by all three all in favor of Mr. Longoria.

Let's not let Ms.Biel off the loose quiet yet. Here's her logic on Kobe:
"This is a tough one, but Kobe is in LA, and i live there so he's more now."
........... No comment.

Most of the time, I have no problem with seeing Erin Andrews at any time of the day. But please, keep her off the fucking panel as well. Her votes should be automatically void since it's probably based on who'd she want to fuck the most. King James better not lose because of you!

IV

11 Seconds of Pure Dopeness!

"IT AIN'T MY JOB!"